I am feeling particularly blessed these days. I am working; I have a job with regular income; actually I have two teaching jobs (as of tomorrow). In this economy I feel blessed several times over. I am, however, grappling with the fact that although I am making more money than I have in my life, the cost of living here is more than ever and so I don't have any money. In fact this week I am waiting with baited breath for a paycheck so that I can pay my bills much later than I like to. But, hey, at least I WILL be able to pay them. Again, feeling blessed.
I am also feeling a tremendous amount of gratitude that my creativity level is so high. I am researching and writing a book that is the story of being sexually abused as a child. Yeah, I know, sounds dark. And it kind of is. But it is also very, very enlightening. The man who molested me is quickly moving from the deepest darkest shadows of my memories into the light where he looks more pathetic than menacing. You see I am researching my own story, the accuracy of my own memory, and the timeline of my life versus his. It is really fascinating how we humans deal with trauma, and much like that pathetic and ugly man, the more I examine my trauma the less of a grip it has on me.
I also joined a reading and writing group on Facebook, along with several alumni from my graduate program. It is such a joy to discuss books and craft with my contemporaries again. As much as I love teaching and watching students make connections with the required readings and their writing, it is really lovely to have discussions on a higher plain.
I am feeling loved on all fronts. My kids are healthy and happy. My marriage is good and we are quickly approaching our 20th wedding anniversary. I have the best friends a woman could ever hope for, and I seem to have learned how to accept their love.
Yep. Life is good.
