Exhausted Appreciation

Happy Thanksgiving.

This is the first year for as long as I remember that I haven't done any cooking for the big feast. I made a few breakfast items this morning but have mostly spent the day hanging out. It almost doesn't feel like Thanksgiving because I am not standing in the kitchen, my back aching, my head hurting and my feet screaming. I also won't be seeing my son today; he is working until 6pm and then going to his fiance's house for dinner. Joe and Melia and I are going to the home of our friends Mike and Celia where Mike is preparing a fabulous meal.

Realistically speaking, even if I wanted to, I couldn't possibly host or serve a traditional feast. I have been working so much that my body is protesting loudly in a variety of uncomfortable ways. I don't have the energy to cook and clean and tend to anyone's needs. Heck, I'm having a difficult time tending to my own needs. I'm not eating right or exercising enough. I feel overwhelmed daily.

But my mood is good.

I like my jobs. I love teaching. I still like running the Writing Center, but it is burning me out. I can see the wall slowly making its way toward me. I am destined to hit it and when that happens I will be forced to move on. I'm hoping that when that happens I can move onto teaching and writing full-time. I have an interview next week with another community college. So in addition to the class prep and grading I planned to do this weekend for my classes, and the formatting job I need to finish, and the family finances I have to address, and a Thanksgiving to participate in, I'm prepping for the interview.

Still, not really complaining. But I am looking forward to the end of the semester. I'm very likely going to move into a new office space. It is really long past time for me to move my freelance and creative work out of my house. I think I have decided on a location, but am still dealing with details. I'd like to be mostly moved in before Christmas, which is a week after the semester ends. Yes, I know, even when I have a break scheduled I still manage to overload myself.

One of the many things that I have learned this last few months is that I can do more work than I had thought I could. I have also been reminded just how important taking care of my body is. I physically feel pretty crappy a good portion of the time, but I know how to feel better and once I have the time I will be changing my eating and exercise habits back to what they were only a few months ago. It also reminds me that there were several years when I felt like this ALL the time. I have also been reminded that I have the power to change that, and for that knowledge I am very grateful.

I am grateful that I have trusted my own instincts and am moving forward in my chosen career(s). I am grateful that months ago Joe and I had a talk about the changes that are now taking place and we are managing to stay connected and happy together. I am grateful that my kids are great. I am grateful for my friends and extended family (even if I don't have the time or energy to spend much quality time with them).

Yep, lots to be grateful for. And lost of exhaustion that I will be grateful to be rid of in a few short weeks.