Levels of Relief

In case you haven't heard, Mendocino College hired me to teach full-time beginning this fall.

You can call me Professor Buccelli. Really. My official title, once the Academic Senate approves it, will be Associate Professor of English. My new business cards already proclaim me, Ginny Buccelli, Professor of English. I'm just delighted. Tenure here I come!

After nearly five weeks of teaching a full load at one school, I can say that the transition has been quite smooth. Happy even. As a new employee, the administration and department have put certain restrictions on my activities; in other words, I'm not allowed to stretch myself too thin just yet. They want me to have a period of lighter commitments as I settle in before I allow my workaholic personality to assert itself.

Multiple levels of relief are evident. There is the obvious monetary relief. My first paycheck as a full-time instructor was nearly double my last adjunct paycheck; my yearly salary will be about 50% more than my most lucrative year teaching part-time (that resulted in an overnight stay in the hospital). When I saw my first paycheck, and how much the district was contributing to my retirement, I cried.

In the past, there were few guarantees as to how many classes were available to me from semester to semester. Now I know that I will always have a full load of classes to teach; I have a contract that spells that fact out pretty clearly.

One of the happiest transitions is the single set of work keys. I no longer find myself staring blankly at the keys in my hand, struggling to remember where exactly I am, which key will open my office or, more importantly, which key opens the faculty restroom.

Learning the new faces, rules, resources, politics, and expectations offers a few minor challenges. Keeping my mouth shut about what I see and how I think some things could be improved is a struggle. I hold myself mute often; if you know me at all, you know that is difficult for me.

Since the phone call came in late one night in May, I have wondered if this is real. I worried that the hiring committee, or the President would change their minds. I worried that the Board of Trustees would fail to approve my hire. I worried that HR would lose my paperwork, or that the position would suddenly disappear. These worries are finally dissipating, much to my relief.

Thus far my colleagues are great, and the staff is friendly and helpful. Teaching is the easy part; I chose to teach at this level because I love the community college population. I love the students in Ukiah as much as anywhere else I have taught.

I do find myself reluctant to give up the trappings of my previous positions. One college required that I formally resign, and kicked me off the email server. The other is allowing me to linger and interact. My email address has not yet been removed from all distribution lists. I think at some point I will need to have emails forwarded and let go of checking in. I'm going to wait until letting go feels like relief.